I spent the first half of 2019 in deep reflection. For what seemed liked years I had spent my life looking for love in all the wrong places.
I certainly had no problem meeting people. However, the patterns I lived again and again and again often resulted in the same results.
Heartbreak. Fatigue. Distraction. Loneliness. Debt.
I was straight up addicted to external validation.
And it SUUUUUCCCCKKKKED,
Through all my processing and examination, I could find only one reason for what felt like my misery and failure in pursuit of a lifetime partner ::
I didn’t love myself.
It was one of those sobering moments.
I thought I had hit rock bottom on my self-love a few years earlier.
This type of learning is never a straight line.
I doubled down on taking back my time, energy and power back after my 34th birthday.
It started slow my life and build a new momentum over time.
I stopped drinking alcohol.
I stopped smoking cigarettes.
I left behind people that didn’t align with me.
I stepped away from working contracts that didn’t ignite my spirit.
I prioritized sleeping over socializing.
I started meditating anywhere from 30 to 60-minutes per day.
Everything improved over an 8 month period of time.
By deciding to get into better relationship with myself and treat myself the way I would love and admire a partner, has been a self-love revolution.
People say it all the time - “Gotta love yourself before anyone else can love you.”
To me it’s more like this ::
You gotta love yourself so that you shift your feeling into understanding how you deserve to be loved and how to open yourself up to receiving it when the time is aligned.
You feel your way into true love, by always focusing on your most important relationship - the one with YOU and YOU.
By investing in my relationship with myself I have a deeper compassion for all the experiences I encounter. I can foster empathy for people that, like i was, are unable to understand what it means to love ourselves unconditionally.
I’m no longer lonely.
I don’t have to seek constant social stimulation to keep the difficult emotions at bay.
I no longer seek to numb my big feels with strong drinks.
When you strike out on a self-love journey you commit to the enacting the most unconditional love you’ve ever known.
But it’ the truest you.
And it radiates.
You become a beacon.